


I Need You Too

by Folie_a_duex



Series: Titan Kings [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Bittersweet, But it can be read alone since I just needed to write some ReiBert and cry, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Grieving, Hella Gay Reiner, M/M, Mostly just ReiBert, Omegaverse, Pining, Post Bertholdt’s death, but it’s not that important, excerpt from To Be King, hopeless Reiner, kinda smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-23 03:04:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Folie_a_duex/pseuds/Folie_a_duex
Summary: Bertholdt's dead, and Reiner is alive. Why is he alive?He sits atop of Wall Rose, next to a fire that chases away the cold. Zeke sits a few feet away from him, warming his hands by the fire. His glasses reflect the moonlight, hiding his eyes, and he looks like some homeless bum with that god awful beard of his. He sips his tea loudly, looking across the abandoned lands of Maria. He’s a monster with a god complex.This is the man that saved him from death, killed Bert and is now trying to kill Eren.—A short one shot that’s a part of To Be King, but I needed to write ReiBert and this can be read alone, so I published it separately.





	I Need You Too

**Author's Note:**

> Shorter than what I usually do for oneshots, but oh well. I’ll edit it more later, bc right now it’s a bit crap. 
> 
> Edited: 26/04/2019

“So you’re… gay?” Bert says slowly, testing the taboo word.

 

Reiner nods, leaning back against the tree. “Yup.”

 

Annie scoffs, poking at the fire with a stick. “Called it.”

 

Bert turns to her in shock. “How?”

 

Annie rolls her eyes. “For someone who gets top marks in class, you’re quite dull at times.”  Her voice is monotone and doesn’t sound threatening, but Reiner is howling in laughter at her words.

 

“You just got roasted, Bert!” He says, shoving at Bert’s shoulder.

 

“Well you don’t seem like a poof!” Bert exclaims, hopelessly attempting to block Reiner’s attacks. 

 

Reiner laughs again. “Sorry if I’m not wearing lipstick and pretty pink a dress, Bert. Maybe some other time.”

 

Bert’s face flushes furiously and even Annie cracks a smile at this. 

 

There’s silence for a few moments, and once Bert’s blush has faded enough, Reiner speaks again.

 

“So you’re both… cool with it?” He asks slowly.

 

Annie immediately nods. “You’re a good soldier. So what if you like guys, I like guys.”

 

Reiner has to smile at her words. “Bert?”

 

Bert’s mouth is in a thin line and he wrings his hands. “I’m… surprised? Definitely surprised, but… but I’m okay with it.”

 

Reiner grins widely and takes another bite of his sandwich. “Excellent,” he says with his mouthful. “Now, any other confessions to add to the conversation?”

 

“I like girls, too,” Annie says bluntly, and Reiner chokes on his bread, hacking out crude coughs.

 

Bert stares at Annie in mild shock and looks to Reiner worriedly. 

 

“I fucking knew it,” Reiner chokes out, hitting his chest and trying to prevent is impending death. “I fucking knew it.”

 

“Don’t swear like that, Reiner!” Bert scolds once he makes sure that Reiner won’t be dying anytime soon. 

 

Reiner swallows the last of his sandwich and gasps out, “My gaydar is strong.”

 

Annie raises a thin eyebrow at Reiner, silently judging him. “Where are you learning all of these terms from?”

 

“Eren,” Reiner says. “He’s got a crush on Armin, so we talk about gay stuff.”

 

“Oh my Ymir,” Bert groans, hanging his head. “Why are you like this?”

 

Reiner laughs. “Because we gays gotta stick together. So, Bert, got anything to add? Do you like guys?” Reiner certainly hopes so. “Or is it just Annie and I who are raging queers?”

 

Bert groans. “Stop using all of those terms. You’re hopeless.”

 

Reiner shrugs. “Maybe.”

 

“I agree with Bertholdt,” Annie says. “You’re hopeless.”

 

Reiner clutches his chest and falls against Bert’s shoulder. “How dare you, my fellow rainbow.”

 

Bert shoves Reiner off and Reiner overplays how hurt he is. He’s still a bit hurt, though. He wants to cuddle with Bert more than anything in the world. 

 

“You gonna answer the question, Bert?” Reiner asks, mentally crossing his fingers.

 

Bert rolls his eyes and gives Reiner a bitch face. “I like girls. Only girls.”

 

Reiner doesn’t show his disappointment. “Pedophile.”

 

Bert whacks Reiner and glares at his laughing best friend. “Will you act your age?!”

 

Annie sips at her tea and watches them with mildly amused eyes. She can see the tenderness in Reiner’s gaze for Bertholdt. This boy was long lost to Bert’s green eyes.

 

They return back to the rest of the trainees after they discuss a few things about the mission - such as where they’ll go after their  years  of training, they think inside Wall Sina with the Military Police - and they’re all happily drunk on the meat they stole from Sasha. They say goodnight to Annie who walks to the omega/girl beta cabin, and Reiner can’t help but wink at Krista who peeks out of the windows. Ymir gives him the middle finger when she catches him doing so. Possessive lesbian.

 

Reiner and Bert head back to the alpha/boy beta cabin, but Bert hangs back as they near the door.

 

“Bert?” Reiner asks. He mentally hopes for a confession. Don’t blame him. He’s hopeless for this green-eyed gangly beauty. 

 

Bert shakes his head and enters the cabin. “It’s nothing.”

 

~~~

 

It’s a year into their training, and everyone seems to have fairly integrated into the groups. Annie’s become friends with Mikasa and become a terrifying duo of alpha women (even if Annie is an omega, but she acts like an alpha and she’s capable of being one), hellbent on making weak male alphas suffer. Bert and Reiner have joined the guy’s group quite well, but they’re still the closest to each other. Reiner sniffs out other gays - like Marco and Jean, even though they’re both technically bi and both closeted because of stupid society - and establishes his ‘big brother’ position in the group. These people are stupid and crazy, but they’re all bound by a deeper pain. They rough house and shout profanities at each other, but they’ll hold each other when the nightmares come to haunt and the screams echo through the mind. No one makes ‘your mother was a prostitute’ joke. Everyone’s mom is dead, minus Jean and Connie’s moms. There’s respect concerning certain things. 

 

Bert and Reiner rise through the ranks, becoming soldiers for Paradis. They’re at the top of the class with Annie and Mikasa, and while the 3DMG training is exhilarating, the hand-to-hand combat bring back memories. Every time Reiner spars with Ymir, he always sees Harper for a moment, grinning as she sweeps his legs out from under him. And every time he sees her, he freezes and Ymir gets the better of him. It’s frustrating, especially since Ymir is hellbent on showing how worthy she is of Krista’s love. 

 

During 3DMG training, he’s a soldier and a friend to these people, but Harper’s ghost reminds him of what he truly is and who he fights for. He’s a warrior, and a monster. 

 

Sometimes the memories come flooding back in one fell swoop, and he wakes up in cold sweat, remembering the fall of Wall Maria. Ice fills his lungs and he lays there, gasping, and he doesn’t calm down until Bert’s reassuring arms are around him. He can’t breathe properly until he’s breathing Bert’s comforting scent, daring to nuzzle Bert’s scent gland. Bert used to push Reiner away whenever he did this, but one day he just stopped. He stopped keeping Reiner at an arm’s length away, and he let Reiner hold him close. 

 

Bert knows that alphas aren’t strong, and that Reiner breaks far too easily for the task they’ve been given. 

 

So one day, they’ve snuck out to the roof of the cabin, and they’re stargazing like they used to. The air is cold around them, and snow will be falling in a few weeks. The atmosphere is crisp and sharp, biting at their bones and forcing them to use each other for body heat. Reiner loves it. He loves holding Bert close just for the sake of it, and every night he becomes more and more daring, kissing Bert’s neck and leaving him warmer than intended. 

 

“Reiner,” Bert murmurs after Reiner gains the balls to kiss Bert on the scent gland. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

 

We. He said we. “Doing what?”

 

Bert huffs and his breath turns the air grey. “You know what.”

 

Reiner leans away just enough to see Bert’s face. “We’re doing two things that break the rules, right now. You’re gonna have to specify which one you’re referring to.”

 

Bert bites at his lip - his very kissable lip - and looks at Reiner sadly. “The… cuddling.”

 

Fuck. Reiner wants to drag Bert closer and dare him to say no to this, but Reiner is also struck with fear. He doesn’t want to lose Bert. 

 

“We’re both alphas, Reiner,” Bert whispers. “This is wrong.”

 

Reiner scoffs. “I don’t care. The Council isn’t here to tell us no.”

 

Bert shakes his head. “The Council owns us. We can’t do anything against them.”

 

“They aren’t here, Bert,” Reiner whispers strongly. “They can’t hurt us here.”

 

Bert says nothing but bites harshly at his lips. “We can’t.”

 

Reiner places his head on Bert’s shoulder, and he doesn’t let go of him. “Do you want to?”

 

Bert says nothing.

 

“If we could, if we could do anything we wanted, would you want to? Would you?” Reiner asks quietly. 

 

Bert shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispers back.

 

Reiner lifts his head up suddenly and looks directly into Bert’s eyes. “Yes it does. It matters whether or not you want something. It’s your free will.”

 

Bert whines softly and shakes his head. “We can’t, Reiner.”

 

“But you want to,” Reiner whispers. “You want this.”

 

Bert glares at Reiner. “It doesn’t matter whether or not I want this.”

 

“Yes it fucking does!” Reiner exclaims quietly. 

 

Bert looks away and bites his lip even harder, drawing blood. Dammit.

 

“Bert, please,” Reiner begs. “We’ve been dancing like this for years, almost two, maybe more. I… I need you.”

 

Bert rests his cheek on Reiner’s shoulder. “You can’t have me like this.”

 

Reiner leans his cheek on Bert’s head. “But we could do this. Eren’s crushing after Armin. Jean and Marco are doing it, hell, they’re literally doing each other and I’m now scarred because of it.” Reiner brings his fingers to Bert’s chapped lips, daring to lightly touch them. “Give me a chance. Give this a chance.”

 

Bert says nothing and does nothing. Reiner can’t stand the silence.

 

“Please.”

 

They’re quiet for a few minutes, the silence eating through Reiner’s soul, but Bert is the one who snaps first. He quietly mutters ‘fuck’ and then he’s shoving himself away, away from Reiner and the warmth is leaving him, but then that warmth is slamming back into him. Bert’s hands drag Reiners’ head up to Bert, who now kneels in front of Reiner, and he kisses him, hard. There’s nothing tender about the kiss, it’s desperate instead. He’s giving everything he has to Reiner, abandoning common sense and any sense of dignity he had, and he’s kissing Reiner with tears in his eyes.

 

Reiner won’t have that.

 

Reiner cradles Bert’s face, tilting his own up to Bert, and he tries to slow the kiss down. He traces Bert’s facial features, memorizing them with his hands as he has done with his eyes, commuting them to the sweetest parts of his mind. He moves slowly against Bert’s angry kisses, trying to bring everything back to the point where this is just lips against lips. Bert seems to crumble at Reiner’s gentle touches, and he drops into Reiner’s lap, a soft mewl escaping him. 

 

Reiner drags him closer, so close but not close enough, and kisses him with everything he can give him. He gives him all of his tenderness and warmth and love, conveying the adoration he’s had for Bert for years. He tries to whisper every memory he’s had of Bert, pushing them past his own lips and into Bert’s gasping mouth. 

 

“I need you,” Reiner murmurs. 

 

Bert nods and kisses him again. “I need you too.”

 

The cold eventually drives them back into the barracks, but they keep touching each other as they run back into the warmth. Everyone else is fast asleep - minus Marco and Jean who are in the storage building fucking each other - so Reiner keeps kissing Bert as they climb into bed. 

 

“I need you,” Bert whispers into Reiner’s mouth, guiding his hands down. “I need you.”

 

Reiner is more than happy to oblige. “Try to be quiet.”

 

It’s a miracle they manage to get each other off twice without waking anyone up. Bert is surprisingly loud, moaning into Reiner’s mouth and bucking feverishly into his hand, but Reiner is delighted by this. He swallows every sound Bert makes, and he carves them into his mind. Bert’s hands roam across Reiner, studying the boy’s body that has become a man’s, and he barely hesitates to give pleasure back to Reiner. They collide over and over again, gasping each other’s names like a mantra, and they fall as the pleasure burns them to dust.

 

“I need you too.”

 

~~~

 

“Reiner!” Jean shouts before toppling onto Reiner, who’s trying to sleep in a bit.

 

Reiner groans quietly, but poor Bert who was closely tucked under Reiner’s arm releases a shocked, high pitched shout.

 

“Holy fuck, Reiner was that you?” Connie asks from the other side of the cabin. 

 

“It was me, you jerks!” Bert shouts, throwing the covers off of him and glaring at Jean. “That’s not how I wanted to wake up this morning, thanks Jean.”

 

There are a few gasps around the room, and they all hold their breath, anticipating the laughter that is about to fall like thunder. Jean is the first to howl in joy, clutching his face as the tears stream down his face.

 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, Bert!” Jean gasps out. “I didn’t see you!”

 

“That’s because  someone was smushing me with their big beefy arms,” Bert mutters to Reiner, and Reiner grins back at him.

 

“I didn’t know you guys slept together!” Jean gasps out.

 

Marco whacks Jean on the side of the head and glares at him. “Be nice, Jean. We sleep together and you don’t seem bothered by it.”

 

Connie howls in laughter and so does Eren, who’s just entered. 

 

“You and Marco sleep together?” Eren asks, smirking at Jean. Armin glares at Eren for being a jackass. He and Eren sleep together, so he can say nothing.

 

“So what?” Jean snarls, and Marco ruffles his hair. 

 

“Everyone sleeps with someone, Jean,” Marco whispers.

 

“Everyone except Connie!” Jean barks, and Connie bushes furiously.

 

“Nah, he has Sasha when he smuggles her in,” Reiner says, putting on his 3DMG straps and boots. 

 

Connie blushes even harder and Marco whistles. 

 

“Looks like Connie’s the only one to have a girl, then!” Marco says. “Good job, Marco!”

 

Connie mutters out a half-hearted ‘thanks.’

 

The roughhousing dies down a bit after Connie’s obvious lady skills, and they all finish getting ready for the day. The straps are put on, the jackets are donned, and the boots are hopefully on the right feet. They all pile out of the cabin with mumbled curses and breathe in the fresh, cold air.

 

“Another day of hell,” Reiner murmurs. 

 

Bert laughs. “We’re almost done with this hell. In a few more days we’ll be in Sina.”

 

Reiner sighs deeply and nods. “We’re almost there.”

 

“And we’ll have our own bedrooms,” Bert murmurs. “Without Jean jumping on us in the mornings.”

 

Reiner laughs. “You never know, Bert, Jean does want to go to Sina.”

 

Bert groans and hangs his head back. “If we get a room with him I swear to Ymir…”

 

Reiner laughs and leans closer to Bert, his lips grazing Bert’s earlobe. “Would you feel uncomfortable with me fucking you with Jean in the room?”

 

Bert’s entire body goes bright red and he shoves Reiner away roughly. “Shut up!” He shouts, hitting Reiner roughly on the chest and hiding his face behind his hands. 

 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Reiner says cockily, and Bert glares at him.

 

“Do  not  talk about our sex life in public, please,” Bert begs quietly.

 

Reiner laughs and leans in again, holding Bert’s hip with a firm hand. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m the only one who can know about your cute little c-“

 

“SHUT UP!” Bert shouts, springing away from Reiner and blushing violently. 

 

Reiner smiles widely.

 

“Oi! Braun! Hoover! Get your lazy asses over here otherwise you’ll be sleeping with the pigs!” The brother of the devil shouts, the steam rising from his bald head. 

 

Bert and Reiner jog over without another word and Reiner smiles. He’s fought for Bert and Bert is finally his. 

 

~~~

 

Bertholdt's dead, and Reiner is alive. Why is he alive? 

 

He sits atop of Wall Rose, next to a fire that chases away the cold. Zeke sits a few feet away from him, warming his hands by the fire. His glasses reflect the moonlight, hiding his eyes, and he looks like some homeless bum with that god awful beard of his. He sips his tea loudly, looking across the abandoned lands of Maria. He’s a monster with a god complex.

 

This is the man that saved him from death and is now trying to kill Eren. 

 

“I’m sorry about Bertholdt,” Zeke says, breaking the silence that Reiner is hiding in. “I know he was close to you.”

 

Reiner hums softly to acknowledge Zeke’s words, but he says nothing. He doesn’t want to say anything. Zeke doesn’t know how close he was to Bert. He doesn’t know anything about their relationship, and he has no right to know about their relationship. Besides, Reiner is content not talking about what happened to Bert. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the empty place at the fire where Bert should be sitting. He should be there with his brow furrowed and sipping the hot tea, contemplating their next moves. He should occasionally meet Reiner’s eyes and brush his hands comfortingly across Reiner’s knuckles. Unspoken words should pass between them and Reiner should be chasing Bert’s shy kisses as they mourn the loss of their friends’ trust. 

 

Bertholdt should be alive. 

 

Zeke says that he knows Bertholdt and Reiner were close, but he has no idea how close. He doesn’t deserve to know. Zeke is a homophobic pig who’s chasing a title he doesn’t fucking deserve. He doesn’t know about the touches Bert and Reiner shared. The kisses. The way Reiner begged and begged and begged for Bert to love him back, how he begged until Bert finally grabbed Reiner’s face - almost roughly - and kissed him. Zeke doesn’t know how those kisses turned into more, into steamy nights in the barracks or in the tent. Zeke doesn’t know how hard Reiner fought to make Bert his own. 

 

Now, Bert is dead and there’s nothing Reiner can do about it. Armin is the Colossal Titan, and Bert’s body is somewhere rotting away into nothingness. All because Zeke made them fight and claimed to be their fucking friend. 

 

“You seem angry,” Zeke murmurs. “I understand if you need some time to cool down.”

 

Reiner scoffs. “I’m not that pathetic.”

 

“I never said you were,” Zeke replies. “Even the strongest men break, and you just lost your best friend. You need time to grieve him before you can move on.”

 

Reiner turns his head away and feels the ghost of Bert’s hand squeezing his in a reassuring manner. 

 

“I don’t have time to grieve.”

 

Zeke thinks for a moment before replying, wondering how he can comfort Reiner. “Then we need to make time.”

 

Reiner gets up quickly and shoves his hands into his pockets, the cold air filling his lungs as he breathes deeply. “I don’t want to grieve.”

 

Reiner begins to stalk off but Zeke’s sharp voice stops him.

 

“You need to grieve him, Reiner,” Zeke says. “You need to say goodbye and move on. You can’t pretend he’s still alive.”

 

Reiner turns around sharply and stares Zeke down. “Don’t tell me how to handle his death.”

 

“I’m telling you to acknowledge his death.”

 

“Same fucking thing!” Reiner hisses. 

 

Zeke sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose, the moonlight moving across his glasses. “I need you to be at the top of your game. You can’t do that if you’re broken.”

 

Reiner scoffs and sneers at Zeke. “I can kill so many more people when I’m broken.”

 

“I don’t need you blindly killing people,” Zeke says, his voice growing aggravated. “I need you to capture Eren and take him back to the Council.”

 

Eren this, Eren that. That’s all Zeke cares about. The mission. The Council. The King. Reiner doesn’t give a fuck about this mission. He just wanted to go home with Bert, the Council be damned. 

 

“So grieve him,” Zeke demands, sipping his tea. “And move on.”

 

Reiner turns away and away from Zeke, tears threatening to spill over. He walks for who knows how long, and he eventually falls to his knees and gasps out soft cries. He hugs himself tightly, gasping Bertholdt’s name and internally screaming at the image forever ingrained in his mind: Bert being snapped in half by Armin’s titan’s teeth. 

 

I need you. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the angst! :) (I’m actually not sorry but oh well) 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think!


End file.
